January 2010
right now, i’m just kind of like, yeah, no. why does anything matter?
no one to talk to, no one to come over, no one to hold.
i don’t want to know anyone.
lizzy is on her way with two guinea pigs, though. that should be good.
i have a problem. all day, i’ve been starving and hungover but i just keep looking at books on amazon to add to my wish list. i have no money. i need a library card.
if it wasn’t freezing and wet outside, i would go. but i now have a fear of going out when it rains. so i’m stuck in my cave.
“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a...”
Caterpillar: Who… are… you? Alice: Why, I hardly know, sir. I’ve changed so much since this morning, you see… Caterpillar: No, I do not C, explain yourself. Alice: I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, you see, because I’m not myself, you know. Caterpillar: I do not know. Alice: I can’t put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn’t clear to...
“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what...”
i want to have a fucking conversation. someone talk to me. someone call me. i miss the days of laying in bed for hours listening to a voice on the other side knowing they were also listening to me. someone just come over here and sit on my floor with me. i just want everyone so close.
last night, i had the time of my life. drink after drink after drink with deanna. yo la tengo was amazing....
I Have Never Done Anything For Anyone That Was Not For Me As Well.
sixty-four degrees out. my door open is too much.
this morning, i awoke to american football’s -never meant- and i felt so refreshed and light.
i ended up being a quarter short for the bus so i had to ask a strange man and i was so afraid he wouldn’t give it to me because i didn’t speak spanish. he paid me some compliments, too while we were waiting. he let me on first. i...
chris: chill out in my life.
“i think he picked you, you picked him. you picked each other. ever since, you’ve given off this vibe of complete low self esteem.” -mom.
the best conversations i have ever had: when i am in an altered state and on the phone with my mother. they last forever.
i’m really holding out here.
thank you for my brand new broken heart.
-we’ve built this house from ice, and now it’s summertime.-
i totally just fell in love with the ‘89 cubs.
am i a sad human being if i’m drunk before 3 pm?
“Some people are okay but mostly I just feel like poisoning everybody.”
71revisited:
I wish that I could touch you
how...
polyvinylrecords:
Owen - No More No Where
Mike...
i can honestly say that today was the worst day of my life, so far. wait. maybe the second.
so, i’m sick, right? i ask mom what i should get from the grocery store. i head out with just my debit card and my kroger card and my little reusable bag. it’s raining. i pass fiesta and ask myself “should i just stop there? i have work in an hour and a half.” no. i just continue...
ra calls his mom, “t-lady.” he has done this since i met him almost six years ago. he’ll excuse himself from a room by saying, “i have to call my t-lady.” it was maybe four years ago, when we first started dating, that i asked him, “what does t-lady mean? who is your t-lady?” and he said to me, “my top lady. my mom. she’s my top lady....
i’ll fight like hell to hide that i’ve given up.
“i really love you, gaby and i want to make you so happy but at the same time, you’re not letting me.”
this is my one problem.
yesssss, finally. arrested development! →
i’m roadtripping alone today. goodbye, houston.
i feel myself getting sick. wonderful.
i don’t want to go anywhere. i don’t want to do anything. i don’t want to see anyone.
it’s only 52 degrees right now. i’m inside all bundled up like it’s snowing.
Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life.